In this inspiring book, Harvard-trained child and adult psychiatrist and expert in human motivation Dr. Shimi Kang provides a guide to the art and science of inspiring children to develop their own internal drive and a lifelong love of learning. Drawing on the latest neuroscience and behavioral research, Dr. Kang shows why pushy “tiger parents” and permissive “jellyfish parents” actually hinder self-motivation. She proposes a powerful new parenting model: the intelligent, joyful, playful, highly social dolphin. Dolphin parents focus on maintaining balance in their children’s lives to gently yet authoritatively guide them toward lasting health, happiness, and success.
As the medical director for Child and Youth Mental Health community programs in Vancouver, Dr. Kang has witnessed firsthand the consequences of parental pressure: anxiety disorders, high stress levels, suicides, and addictions. As the mother of three children and as the daughter of immigrant parents who struggled to give their children the “best” in life—her mother could not read and her father taught her math while they drove around in his taxi—Dr. Kang argues that often the simplest “benefits” we give our children are the most valuable. By trusting our deepest intuitions about what is best for our kids, we will in turn allow them to develop key dolphin traits to enable them to thrive in an increasingly complex world: adaptability, community-mindedness, creativity, and critical thinking.
Life is a journey through ever-changing waters, and dolphin parents know that the most valuable help we can give our children is to assist them in developing their own inner compass. Combining irrefutable science with unforgettable real-life stories, The Dolphin Way™ walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The book makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability—is The Dolphin way™.
With insight, professional expertise and unfailing instinct, Dr. Shimi Kang offers us essential guidance in restoring sanity to 21st Century parenting. Compassionate to parent and child, loving and reasoned in its approach, The Dolphin Way is highly readable, emotionally nurturing and intellectually satisfying
-- Gabor Mate M.D.Co-Author, Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers
"This is a powerful book that not only reminds us of what it means to live a balanced human life, but also how to achieve it--simply and naturally. The Dolphin Way guides us towards balance in an often imbalanced world."
-- David Suzuki
Ready to give your kids back their childhood—the part YOU loved? The joy? The creativity? The afternoons you still remember with such longing? If you’re driving your kid to the lessons neither of you likes, instead of giving yourselves BOTH a chance to relax, play or just ‘waste’ time, it's time to turn around the car. This book is your U-turn to joy
-- Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book and blog Free-Range Kids
"In The Dolphin Way, Dr. Shimi Kang writes insightfully of the real lives of parents, weaving science with spirit, and embedding highly practical suggestions into every chapter. I highly recommend this book!"
-- Michael Gurian, Author of THE WONDER OF BOYS and THE WONDER OF GIRLS
"The Dolphin Way is a beautifully written guide that will help parents counteract the social forces that have been depriving children ever more of freedom, play, and childhood itself. It is full of compelling case histories and common-sense prescriptions for parenting in today’s world. Although Dr. Kang and I don’t agree on everything, we agree on most of what is in this book."
-- Peter Gray, research professor of psychology, Boston College, and author of Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life
If you're looking for effective but practical strategies to calm the chaos in your kids' lives, foster their their internal motivation and truly prepare them to function successfully in the adult work - read this book! Using concrete evidence, Dr. Kang shows why “Tiger” approaches to parenting do more harm than good. Her Dolphin approach will have you and your kids cheering. Highly recommended!
-- Amy McCready, Founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com and author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time...The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling